Everybody seems to have a “want” going into this election…a wish that they would like to see come true.

Given that virtually every adult human alive today is emotionally controlled by their core consciousness…the unconscious primitive ego of their inner-child…this is not at all surprising.

We know from the insights of Primitive Ego Psychology that when we get overwhelmed or confused, we tend to regress into our primitive core consciousness…the primitive ego of our unconscious inner-child.

So let’s take a quick look and see how our understanding of primitive ego can help us sort through all the distortions and rhetoric we are being subjected to in the press and on television.

I’ll try to keep it simple and give you a few concepts that you might find helpful on November 2nd 2010 elections.

Three Important Aspects of a Primitive Ego Consciousness

1. We know that the primitive ego is very narcissistic and “me” oriented…it tends to be very greedy. We are driven by a survival of the fittest thinking process.
2. We know that the primitive ego has very little ability to delay gratification. It wants what it wants when it wants it. Our thinking tends to become very short term focused on what is best for ourselves.
   Again, we fall into a survival of the fittest mentality.
3. We know that the primitive ego uses a very primitive black-and-white thinking process…a thinking process that tends to think in extremes.
   Our primitive core consciousness narcissistically assumes that all of its beliefs represent absolute truth. Our beliefs are always “right”.

So let see what these three insights into primitive ego thinking might tell us about:

• the politicians and the political parties going into this election,
• the hundreds of millions of dollars of special interest money that is flowing into the election process,
• the mind set of the average voter, and most importantly,
• how we can use our knowledge of primitive ego psychology to become better informed voters on November 2nd..

The Mindset Of The Politicians And The Political Parties

We can already see the effect of primitive black-and-white thinking in the unprecedented level of grid lock in Washington. It is hard to be flexible and open to new ideas and compromise when you know that you possess the “absolute truth“.

Every politician is narcissistically convinced that their ideology represent absolute truth, they want what they want “now”, and they are focused on doing what ever it requires for them to get elected…including:

• distortions of the issues,
• character assignations of those who disagree with them,
• allowing themselves to be controlled by the greed and wishes of the special interest groups that give them money for their election campaigns, and most appalling,
• an unconscionable disregard for the urgent issues that face our nation and our world such as:
  • the urgent need for an effective energy policy,
  • control of carbon emissions,
  • the growing CO2 emissions that result in global warming,
  • learning to live within our means as a nation, and
  • addressing the growing gap between the poor and the very wealthy.

The Mindset Of The Average Voter

Given the fact that the core conscious or primitive ego of the average voter is emotionally controlling their adult lives, we can be certain that most voters are going to be driven by greed and narcissistically focused on “what’s in it for them” in this election…who is going to cut taxes and who is going to get them more government handouts.

Despite the fact that the banking crisis, the housing foreclosure crisis, the wall street greed, and the high level of unemployment is the result of half a century of failed financial policies, the average voter is going to want all the problems facing our nation fixed “right now“.

In other words, they will tend to be very susceptible to the black-and-white ideological thinking of anyone with an extreme point of view or theory on who is to fault and to what needs to be done.

So What Can We Learn From Primitive Ego Psychology To Make Us Better Voters?

First, and most importantly, we can shift our thinking from a narcissistic “what’s in it for us” point of view and begin to ask ourselves, not what do “we want“, but rather what does our nation and the world “need” right now?

We can keep in mind the high level of narcissism and greed that drives the primitive core consciousness in each of us….the primitive ego consciousness and greed based thinking process behind all of the economic crisis that we are currently struggling with, such as…

• the banking and Wall Street mess we are in,
• the housing foreclosure mess were in, and
• the need for all the public bail out money that was given these institutions and their top executives at a time when we are experiencing well over 10% unemployment in the rest of our county…….

to name only a few.

Keeping in mind the insights of primitive ego psychology and the fact that virtually all of these problems were caused by someone’s primitive ego greed and the gross lack of regulatory laws and oversight in these institutions will help to remind us that anyone who tells us that we don’t need oversight and financial reform in our country is either ignorant, greedy, or lying. Probably all three.

Then we can begin thinking long range:

• To think further into the future and ask ourselves “what is best for our country“?
• Where do we want our nation and the world to be a generation from now?
• What kind of world do we want to create for our grand children’s generation?

Our primitive ego is very invested in feeling safe. It uses denial to believe that it is not in danger. It looks for easy answers so it can feel better. So be very careful of short term promises that try to convince us that all is well.

We need to remember the prophetic words of Wendell Berry who wrote…”the concept of unlimited economic expansion is a dangerous myth“.

Like it or not we are dealing with very serious financial problems in our country. They are not going to be fixed overnight regardless of what others might tell us. And we are certainly going to have to either raise taxes, reduce handouts, or encourage severe inflation to get our economy back on a sustainable footing. Probably all three.

If anyone tells you otherwise, you are probably listening to primitive ego ignorance or out-and-out lies.

And lastly, we can intentionally look for the middle-path truth on both sides of every issue and look with distrust on the opinions and solutions of anyone who claims to have the truth…”the” answer to our problems.

Humanity urgently needs to intentionally mature and evolve its primitive ego core consciousness.

Perhaps we can begin to use our understanding of primitive ego psychology to make a difference on November 2nd.

I have been following the comments submitted by readers and would like to use this issue of the Stonyhill Newsletter/Blog to answer some of the important questions that have been raised.

Margaret asks………How does a person start to grow after being stuck for many years…..how do you move forward?

Anonymous wrote…….How do you communicate or relate to those that are not as far along the path without getting drained or dragged down?

Bill wrote…..what can I do to try and save my marriage and my family? I fear my wife is threatening to leave me and my kids barely talk to me.

What makes these questions important is that each of these readers are focused on their own growth……how to change themselves. They are not interested in changing some one else.

As a counselor in private practice, it was common to have clients come into therapy convinced that their happiness depended on getting others to change….not themselves. They would often begin therapy by saying “they” wanted to change, but it was never long before the focus of our sessions would shift over to what “others” were doing that “made them” unhappy.

I would quietly remind them that we have no power to change others. We only have the power to change ourselves. This was often a decisive moment in their therapy. The clients who were able keep the focus of therapy on themselves; their own feelings and behaviors, would eventually begin to grow in self-awareness. Those who listened to their primitive ego believed that it was “others” that needed to change, “not them”. It was never long before they came to the conclusion that therapy was not something they wanted or needed.

Three Basic Universal Laws Can Change The Way You Think

There are three basic universal laws or realities in life that must be understood and embraced if we want to change the way we think…..and changing the way we think is the key to emotional happiness and developing the ability to enjoy healthy relationships with others.

The first universal law, that we just talked about above, can be stated very simply. You do not have the omnipotent power to force others to change so you can be happy. If your goal in life is to change others, you are going to find yourself living a very frustrated, stressful, and unhappy life. All you can do is nag the other person and be critical of them until they either a) angrily agree to change just so you will stop hounding them, or b) what’s more likely, they will simply walk away when they have had enough of your critical harassment and nagging. In either case they will be telling you clearly they have no real intention of changing.

It is helpful to remember that the person who chooses to say “no” to you, either directly, or by simply ignoring you, is the person with all the power! The only thing the “no” person has to do to win the power struggle you create when you insist they change is simply ignore you. In other words, they win without doing anything.

The bottom line…… when you attempt to force another person to change so “you” can be happy, you will very quickly experience what it means to be powerless…….and you will quickly earn the reputation of being an opinionated, critical, know it all nag. Definitely not a good place to be if your goal is to be happy.

Universal Law #2:  You can never successfully violate the law of attraction. The law of attraction is the universal law that reminds us that we will always attract to us what we think about……or stated simply….. “we become what we think about”. For example…..

-if you want to become a brain surgeon, you will need to think a lot about brain surgery.

-If you want to become a car mechanic, you will need to spend a lot of time thinking about cars.

-If you want to become the unhappy, opinionated, critical, know it all nag that we talked about when we violate reality #1 above, it’s easy……. just think a lot about what needs to change in others in order for “you” to be happy.

If you spend a lot of time thinking about how annoying the behavior of someone close to you can be, you will soon begin to see that annoying behavior, not only in that particular person, but in everyone around you.

In other words, the more you think about the annoying behavior, the more you will begin attracting those kind of annoying people into your life. That is the law of attraction in action! Again….not a good thing to do if your goal is to be happy.

Remember, the law of attraction is a universal law. It can never be altered or changed. You will become what you think about and you will attract into your life what ever you choose to think about. More than any other factor, your thoughts, past and present, conscious or unconscious, are responsible for creating the life you are currently living and they will continue to be responsible for the life you create in the future.

Universal Law #3: When you understand the law of attraction you can use it to become the person you would like others to be. If you want to attract cheerful, happy, creative, positive people into your life, all you have to do is become the person you would like to attract.

Primitive ego psychology teaches us that the primitive ego of our unconscious inner-child is almost always negatively focused on what it “doesn’t” want in our lives.

It doesn’t want to be poor.

It doesn’t want to be unhappy.

It doesn’t want to be unsuccessful.

It doesn’t want to have to deal with annoying people.

It doesn’t want to be over weight.

It doesn’t want to be unhealthy.

It doesn’t want to be criticized.

Remember, if all we think about are those things that we “don’t” want, those are going to be the very things that the law of attraction brings into our lives….no exceptions!

Until we understand and tame the negative thoughts of our unconscious inner-child’s primitive ego…..through an intentional growth in our self-awareness……we will continue to live life unconsciously attracting into our lives the very people and things that we don’t want. It’s no wonder so many people are unhappy. It’s no wonder that mood altering medicines are a multi-billion dollar industry.

The Law of Attraction Loves Positive Self-Affirmations

So how do we become the person we would like to attract into our lives.

Easy! Simply use the power of positive self-affirmations to energize the law of attraction. When you create a list of positive self-affirmations and then learn to repeat them out loud several times a day, the law of attraction will automatically begin to attract them into your life. It is important that your positive affirmations always be stated in the present tense, not the future. In other words, I am rather than I want or I will.

For example your positive affirmations might sound like……

“I am a wealthy person”,

“I attract wealth to myself effortlessly”,

“I am a happy person”,

“I am a patient person”,

“I have everything in my life I need to be happy”,

“I am a successful person”,

“I am a person who affirms others and sees the best in those around

me”………..etc. etc.

You can never have enough positive affirmations so don’t be afraid to keep adding them to your list as you think of them. Positive affirmations never focus on those things that our primitive ego “doesn’t want”…..they convert primitive ego negatives into positive self-statements.

Some people suggest that you should recite your list out loud when you get out of bed in the morning, and as many times a day as possible. The last reading of the list should always be just before going to bed each evening. Positive affirmations are very powerful because they shift the focus of our thoughts onto what we want, who we are, who we would like to become…..a fully conscious, now oriented, positive focus that powerfully energizes the law of attraction.

Never Put Yourself Down

It is very difficult to have a positive self-esteem when the majority of your thoughts tend to be focused on what you “don’t” like about yourself! Every time you catch yourself using negative primitive ego thoughts or behaviors that violate your positive self-affirmations….be careful not to put yourself down. I refer to them as old knee-jerk habits that are nothing more than reflections of who we used to be. Just pay attention when they happen. They are not only normal, they are an important part of learning to becoming self-aware. Without them our growth would be very slow and difficult.

Paying attention every time a knee-jerk happens, and then simply reaffirming our positive self-affirmations and moving on, is how change happens. Learning requires repetition. Over time, you will begin to more easily notice when your primitive ego tries to send negative thoughts, words, behaviors or negative energy into world. Again…….be careful not to dwell on either the knee-jerks or on what you don’t like about yourself because that is exactly the negative energy that the law of attraction will begin to attract into your life.

Over time, you will begin to become the positive person you want to become because the old negative energy that comes from negative thoughts will no longer make sense to you. Eventually they will be as uncomfortable for you as fingernails on a black board. When that happens, your life…..the life you are consciously creating…….will begin to change as effortlessly as a snake shedding its old skin so it can continue to grow.

Positive Self-Affirmations Are Not A Pollyanna Denial Of Reality

Maintaining a positive focus and using positive self-affirmations is not a pollyanna avoidance of reality. It is simply a way of consciously choosing the thoughts that you are going to spend time thinking about……because you know that your thoughts wlll determine the life that you are going create. The law of attraction is a universal law. You can’t change it. You can’t avoid it. The only question is whether you want conscious positive thoughts, or unconscious negative thoughts creating your future.

Summary

Let me wrap up today’s thoughts by addressing specifically what I am sure is going through the minds of many readers…….what do you do right “now” with the spouse or significant other or friend who is making you so unhappy? Simple answer? Go back to the universal laws or realities we talked about above and read them again.

What many people discover, when they learn to fully embrace the three universal realities we have talked about today, is that their partner had been driving them crazy primarily because “they” had been obsessively focused and continually thinking about their partner’s behaviors that were driving them crazy. Guess what they had been attracting into their lives!

Bottom line…….if the behaviors of your partner are driving you crazy, become the person you would like “them” to be. Over time you will not only become that person, you will begin attracting those kind of persons into your life. When “you” have become the person you would like “them” to be, the decisions and choices you might need to make regarding those difficult people in your life will become more clear. You might have to move on, but never make that choice until you have done you own work.……..and when that time comes, don’t be surprised if their behavior is still present but you find that it doesn’t bother you any more.

Primitive Ego Psychology teaches us that growth in self-awareness is the most important skill that any of us can develop if we truly want to be happy and enjoy being with other people.

See you in a few days…….we are heading for Anchorage in the morning.

The Stonyhill Newsletter / Blog and the videos related to each Newsletter are designed to teach the insights and everyday wisdom contained in Primitive Ego Psychology. For more technical, in-depth articles on Primitive Ego Psychology and Primitive Ego Theory go to the Stonyhill website at www.stonyhill.com/articles.htm

See the video based on this Stonyhill article…….

Dick Rauscher

© Dick Rauscher January 31, 2010
Talking to the bad guys….the dudes for whom life was about to get a lot harder, John Wayne would slowly take off his jacket, shake his head sadly and say “life is hard…..it’s even harder if you’re stupid”. They didn’t appreciate the wisdom he was sharing with them of course, but they soon came to grasp first hand what he was talking about. John is no longer with us, but I am convinced that the world is about to experience the wisdom behind his words…..the consequences of continuing to ignore reality….of continuing to use an obsolete primitive ego consciousness.

As we know all too well, life can be hard for all of us at times, but as readers of the Stonyhill Newsletter, we know it’s especially hard if we insist on letting the unconscious primitive ego of our inner-child have a free hand in running our life.

So how do we know when our unconscious primitive ego has kidnapped our psyche? How do we take back control of our lives?

This can be a difficult task because it is a challenge for our minds to remain intentionally observant of our own behaviors. Fortunately it is very easy to observe the presence of unconscious primitive ego behaviors in “others”. In other words, when we have the courage to be unflinchingly honest with ourselves, the behavior of others can be an excellent mirror into our own psyche.

There are three distinct behaviors that unerringly point to the presence of a primitive ego that has unconsciously taken control of a persons consciousness…..three behaviors that currently dominate the majority of our personal lives and the well-being of our nation.

First is a strong sense of entitlement; the feeling that we “deserve” more…..

• entitled to more free government handouts,
• entitled to more free health care,
• entitled to more free unemployment benefits,
• entitled to larger bonus checks at the end of the year,
• entitled to purchase a nice home even when we know that we can’t really afford the monthly payments,
• and the belief that the many problems and crises facing our nation such as climate change, our dependency on foreign oil, and the depletion of natural resources, are not our responsibility….they’re someone else’s fault therefore, it’s their problem to fix them,
• entitlement’s bottom line……it’s the responsibility of the government to take care of us but don’t even think about raising our taxes.

Secondly, a narcissistic, greedy “me first” attitude that reflects a significant lack of compassion or empathy for others….

• a deep prejudice and bias against immigrants and people different from us,
• the belief that “our” personal rights are more valid and important than the rights of others,
• the assumption we live in a survival of the fittest world so it’s OK to steal what we want from others,  besides……if we don’t take care of ourselves, who will?,
• it’s OK to abuse, deport, imprison, torture, or execute illegal immigrants and other terrorists who enter our country illegally,
• winning the next election is far more important than protecting the needs of the voters who sent me to Washington,
• amassing political power and influence is more important than the crises’ facing our country,

And third, the inflexible attitude that my rigid black-and-white beliefs always represent absolute truth….

• abortions and homosexuality is absolutely wrong no matter what the situation,
• my anger is justified whenever another person challenges my beliefs,
• even if I am a news reporter, or a national news organization, it is OK to lie and distort the truth because we are always “right” in our beliefs,
• the ideology of my political party is absolutely right and anyone who disagrees is obviously of questionable character and not very patriotic,
• it’s ok to be radically partisan even if it gridlocks our nation because my beliefs and the beliefs of my political party are always right,
• my religion is the only religion that possesses truth so it’s my right to go into the world and tell the members of other religions that they are wrong.

If you are becoming a bit uncomfortable that some of these behaviors are hitting a bit close to home for you, congratulations, you are a person who is ready to grow and evolve your consciousness. If this list has not made you uneasy or perhaps has made you angry, you are apparently “not yet” ready to grow. But you can! This is not a terminal situation, it simply means you’re not ready “yet”. Continue reading.

When faced with challenges to our belief system, the unconscious primitive ego of our inner-child (and therefore the primary impulse of our nations’ collective primitive ego) becomes frightened….we begin to feel overwhelmed and powerlessness….we protectively pull inside….we shut down and begin to isolate………we convince ourselves that we are right and those who dare to disagree with us are the “enemy”……..and most importantly…..we get angry and aggressive.

This is a very dangerous behavior for any nation. Unfortunately, this is clearly what is happening to a growing number of Americans today.

This tendency to make our world smaller and thus more manageable can be seen clearly in the emerging political party called the Tea Party Movement. This growing political movement is inevitably attracting the most ideologically inflexible…..the most rigid, black-and-white, all-or-nothing primitive ego thinkers…..those who are unconsciously under the unyielding, unconscious control of their inner-child’s frightened primitive ego.

If you follow the Tea Party ideology you will know that these self styled “patriots” are already talking about………

• the coming civil war between the haves and the have-nots,
• the coming armed conflict between big government and the little persons,
• the coming civil war between those with a conservative political ideology and those with a liberal political ideology,
• they openly debate which side the military will support when the “people” rise up against the government,
• they are calling for the end of the evil Federal Reserve and the IRS,
• they openly refer to President Obama as a dictator or Nazi,
• they fearfully see conspiracies and terrorists around every corner,
• they angrily distrust authority and aggressively reject all aspects of big brother government,
• they insist on the dismantling all government social programs……
• they aggressively insist on the absolute protection of their own civil and personal rights but show little or no compassion for others,
• they do not appear to understand the power and social dangers inherent in narcissistic primitive ego greed,
• they totally reject any and all attempts at political or financial reform as government meddling,
• they advocate closing the borders of our country, and ignore the reality that we are an integral part of a global culture……financially, politically, legally, ethically, philosophically, militarily and economically,
• they reject the reality that a civilized culture requires some individual rights be surrendered…….for example, the right to murder, the right to steal,
• the right to drive however fast you want down a city street, the right to deny to others the rights you demand for yourself……including the moral right to ignore justice issues, compassion, or empathy for others.

The frightening part of the Tea Party Movement is the fact that their numbers are growing. Despite their intentional distortion of truth, and their rhetoric of fear and hate, they are quickly becoming an influential third political power in our country……a New American Patriotic “Anti Everything” Movement. A movement with frightening shades reminiscent of the past…..a New American “World Order” mentality.

I don’t know about you, but there are times when I too just want to move to Canada or go live in a cave somewhere and ignore the whole mess. But then I recognize that my own primitive ego is trying to take over my emotions. I remind myself that dealing with “reality” is not an option…… it is often ignored by our frightened primitive ego, but hard ”reality” is the only thing we “can” actually deal with. In fact, when something is “real” it means we “have” to deal with it……we have no choice! The evolution of our consciousness requires that we be willing to engage with truth and reality….not with illusion, distortions, and denial.

Only when each of us chooses to intentionally evolve our own consciousness, to consciously and intentionally become self-aware of the primitive ego within, will our species awaken to a more enlightened adult observing ego consciousness and develop the ability to pay attention to the reality of “what is”.

If we want to create a more enlightened world then each of us must be willing to become the change we want to create. We must we willing to expand our vision of the world. We must be willing to embrace the evolutionary possibilities waiting for us in the future, and most of all, we must be willing to bring hope into the world…..to become the light in the darkness…..to let go of our primitive “ego-self” and embrace our more enlightened, spiritually evolved observing “ego-self”.

I am not referring to a “religious” concept here, but rather to a more basic spiritual truth. Only when each of us is willing to intentionally awaken our consciousness and pay attention….to become intentionally self-aware of the unconscious behaviors that we are sending into the world….only then will we successfully evolve the critically needed evolutionary growth of human consciousness. This “conscious evolution” of our species consciousness will happen effortlessly when each of us accepts responsibility to become the change we all want to see.

How will we know when we are awakening our own consciousness? How will we know we are becoming more enlightened?  How will we know our spiritual growth is authentic and not simply a fragile shell of  “religious beliefs” surrounding our unconscious primitive ego personality?

The surest sign of an evolving consciousness is the ability to sustain gratitude and thankfulness. As gratitude and appreciation grows, our ability to be happy and openly embrace the future will grow……even when confronted by the global crises and challenges that we are currently facing.

As our attitude of gratitude and appreciation grows stronger, like a snake shedding its skin, the greed and narcissism of our primitive ego will slowly give way to a more mature, enlightened observing ego consciousness. We will learn to listen more and talk less. We will learn to “hear” what others are sharing with us. We will learn to embrace the questions and give up the need to possess all the answers. In spiritual language, we will begin to empty our selves and learn to embrace not-knowing.

Gratitude, appreciation, cooperation, and compassion are contagious attitudes…..powerful energies.

Never underestimate the power of a person who is optimistic….a person who exudes gratitude and compassion. When we are in the presence of a person who is more evolved, more enlightened than we are, their energy is catching. It transforms our own consciousness.  Over time, we too begin to change the consciousness of others. Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jesus, Muhammad, Nelson Mandela, the Dali Lama, and Desmond Tutu are each good examples of an enlightened consciousness that changed the world. There are many more.

Our world is in crisis right now. We have given in to the helplessness of our frightened inner-children…..the unconsciousness of our collective primitive ego. The consequences of primitive ego thinking is clearly visible in Washington. Just as we can see it clearly in many of the people around us, they can see it just as clearly in each of us.

Only as we become increasingly self-aware……only as we learn to intentionally pay attention to our own behaviors we will begin to see the primitive ego narcissism, the self-focus, the sense of isolation, the me first attitude that unconsciously resides in our own hearts.

Again, our primitive ego is not a terminal condition. It is simply the ego consciousness that formed during our early childhood. Every one of us can become more enlightened. The question we need to ask ourselves is “when will “I” make the decision to become intentionally self-aware and begin my spiritual journey into an awakened observing consciousness”?

The day we each begin our own intentional journey toward a more enlightened consciousness will be the day that our nation, our species, and our world evolves and becomes more enlightened…..more able to envision the world through new eyes……more able to create a new worldview that transcends the tribalism and primitive ego thinking we see today.

I am convinced that the world is going to experience a very dangerous social upheaval in the next three to five years, an upheaval that will convince us beyond any doubt that we can no longer continue on the current path. When this upheaval arrives we will begin to see clearly that continuing to use primitive ego thinking will only bring us more pain and suffering…. more chaos to the world.

When each of us discovers the courage to walk a more authentic spiritual path….a path born of deep self-awareness…..only then will we move beyond the current violence created by primitive ego thinking and begin to create a more enlightened global culture based on gratitude, appreciation, cooperation and compassion. In philosopher Jean Gebser’s words only then will we learn to become “more appreciative of things that really matter”.

We need to listen to the wisdom of philosophers like Jean Gebser and John Wayne.

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